“Hey, Ghost, I'm getting a fleshlight made, can you send me a mold of Templeton's butthole?"”—Radio Graffiti Caller (Area Code 678), April 4th, 2016
"Ah, shut up about my dog already!"
Templeton is Ghost's Wife's dog, named after the rat from Charlotte's Web. During Capitalist Episode 228, Templeton caused over 15 minutes of dead air by electrocuting himself on an electrical plug. Immediately after this, followers began trolling Ghost with a ceaseless stream of dog-related Twitter Names and prank calls which has continued since that time.
According to Ghost, Templeton usually sits or lays around him during the progress of a show. He usually cannot be heard, but on Episode 259, he began barking loudly in the background, according to Ghost at some work noise outside. It is not known how Templeton reacts to cans.wav, though a number of Splicers have made amusing depictions of the event.
On Episode 333, at one point during the broadcast, Templeton began loudly whining. As Ghost tended to him, Templeton all of a sudden starting gnawing on Ghost's hand, injuring him quite badly and forcing him to (very painfully) disinfect it with some scotch twice. Trolls of course very quickly started making fun of this incident by saying Templeton became a Hillary Clinton supporter or by pointing out that dogs can naturally identify liars.
Ghost states that Templeton and his wife are the only beings on the planet whom he considers his "friend".On Episode 349, Templeton was howling during the end of episode. Ghost told him to calm down and later told Templeton that he was a Overweight dog. Revealing to everyone that Templeton is overweight.On Episode 377, just before Ghost was going to go on a break, Templeton began crying again. After a few minutes, Templeton began showing teeth, growling and eventually bit Ghost again, causing Ghost to have to put some scotch on it. Trolls began asking for Templeton's pawprint, with several tweets declaring they were Team Templeton. After having to pour some alcohol on it again and screaming in pain, several trolls and even serious callers began making fun of Ghost over Twitter. Then, towards the end of the show, Ghost's door was knocked on by Police, causing Templeton to start barking at them, and Ghost to end the show abruptly.
On Episode 415, Before Ghost started Radio Graffiti, Templeton defecated on the white carpet of Ghost's rented house. This would cause Ghost to rage at Templeton due to the house being a rental. Ghost would call Stanley Steamer to clean the carpet, costing Ghost $117 for cleaning. This would also cause Ghost to have no show on Tuesday because of the carpet cleaning.
On Episode 466, Templeton would fart during the broadcast. Ghost would be disgusted by the smell. He would have to take a break due to Ghost worrying if he would defecate on the carpet again. After the break however, Ghost would spray air freshener but would fart with Templeton because Ghost thought Templeton he was disagreeing with A Day Without a Woman by farting.