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Texas

Burn, baby, burn...Texas en fuego! Burn, baby, burn!

—Ghost, in a splice regarding the 2011 Texas wildfires


Texas is one of the largest and most populated states of the United States of America. Texas is known for being one of the southernmost states in the country and for having a large Mexican population. The population of Texas is known for being conservative and voting Republican consistently.

Texas is home to Ghost, Alex Jones, Rick Perry and Ron Paul. As far as trolls go, it is also home to the Austin Vibrator.

GhostEdit

Ghost, like many Texans, feels very protective of his home state of Texas and is easily offended by anything attempting to besmirch it. He has gone as far as calling Texas the "Greatest state in the union, if not the world". New callers quickly pick up on this and often attempt to troll Ghost by attacking Texas. Ghost usually responds to these trolls by telling them "You come down here to Texas and say that, and see if your ass don't get beat down into dogmeat, boy."

The song Fuck You Texas was regularly used to troll Ghost until it no longer elicited reactions, and was featured in the DarkRazorZ video that brought most of the current trolls to his show.

Austin Edit

Austin is the capital city of Texas and is the home to Ghost (prior to September 2016), Alex Jones and the Texas government. Ghost frequently refers to Austin's nightlife, especially that of Sixth Street, and other events in the surrounding area. Ghost claims that Austin has declined rapidly since roughly 2008-2010, blaming this in part on Obama and in part on "west coast assholes" who have "completely toilet bowled the entire city." Ghost claims that crime, homelessness and other negative factors have dramatically increased during the past half-decade and that he no longer feels safe walking around Austin late at night.

Ghost Talks about Austin02:34

Ghost Talks about Austin

Ghost has said that University of Texas, Austin students used to be bright, hardworking and intelligent but now, since the rise of 3rd-wave Feminism during the Obama presidency, they've become a bunch of "weak, triggered, jerk-dicks' who don't know anything and who don't deserve to be there."

Several callers have trolled Ghost by claiming to be visiting or currently in Austin, Texas. They usually claim they will meet him on Sixth Street. The Internet Buttstalker and 213 have both done this, though most who do are claiming they are there to fight Ghost. Whether or not these fights are actually carried out are unknown, although it's highly likely that they don't.

Ghost's Big Move and San Antonio Edit

GreetingsSH
After an incident on 6th Street, where someone was shot dead and a few others were injured, Ghost began stating that he would likely move out of Austin, because he decided "6th Street is ruined", and that he could no longer go drinking there without worrying about someone opening fire. He explored other areas in Texas to move to, however; on August 25th he tweeted that the day's show was cancelled because he was busy looking at "several new residences along the I-35". Ghost eventually announced that he was moving from Austin to San Antonio, and stated that he would be moving out over the weekend in Capitalist Episode 353.

The following Monday, on Capitalist Episode 354, Ghost ranted about how he had already begun to hate San Antonio for being a "shithole", and complained he had been sold his new residence on false pretenses. One particular incident that upset him was having a poor Mexican kid try to sell him candy apples on a street corner. He considered going to the city's leadership and complaining about the state of the city, and lamented being stuck with his current residence, by contract, for six months before he could get out.

This let to several troll names, including the most popular, even adopted by Ghost as a nickname, "San Hambonio", due to the amount of fat people he sees walking around. However, in Episode 358, Ghost said that it's not all that bad, and that he had begun to settle in a bit. However, when it was announced that Infowars was looking for a new radio host, Ghost began practically begging Infowars for the job, because he's homesick and wants to go back to Austin.

Despite all this, after 6 months, Ghost has not moved nor discussed going back to Austin.

2011 WildfiresEdit

Texas is known for its natural disasters. During the 2011 wildfire season Texas had their largest wildfires on record: nearly 4,000,000 acres of land burnt and 2,862 homes were destroyed. Because of the massive destruction to his home state, Ghost became very sensitive on the topic, constantly reminding everyone that "we had SCORCHED EARTH!" when it's brought up, usually by Twitter names, that were spawned by the disaster, including the infamous "TexasEnFuego" Twitter name that was a common trigger for Ghost to rage.

2016 FloodsEdit

Texas Floods

In 2016, the city of Houston and parts of Texas received record amounts of rainfall in the area, resulting in several deaths as well as plenty of serious injury and damages to property. Naturally, this resulted in callers using the event as a means to troll or agitate Ghost once more. Trolls became increasingly elaborate over time, including splices of Ghost swimming to Sixth Street (through floodwaters) and one splice which featured Ghost arguing with Poseidon (the Greek god of rain) who sends more rain and warns him to build an ark.

Throughout this event, Ghost has often alluded to conspiracy theories surrounding HAARP, believing that the federal government is trying to use man-made natural disasters as a way of suppressing secessionist dissidence.

Revolution and the Texas Martyrs Edit

Unique among U.S. states, Texas actually fought for its independence from Mexico in the Texas Revolution of 1835-1836 before joining the United States.

Ghost has an extremely reverent view of the Texan revolutionaries, including the "Texas Martyrs" who died fighting for the state's independence. While names mocking events such as the Battle of the Alamo existed before The Return, August and September of 2016 saw a huge uptick mostly in Twitter names making fun of the revolutionaries. These names are capable of greatly enraging Ghost and often cause cans.wav due to his almost religious attitude toward the revolution.

Examples include Goliad BBQ Pit 1836 LOL and Goliad Death Camp, referring to the massacre of 342 Texans by the Mexican army in Goliad, Texas; various names insulting folk hero Davy Crockett, who died at the Alamo; and San Jacinto = War Crime, insulting the Texans for their decisive victory at San Jacinto.

Ghost claims that his family has lived in Texas going all the way back to having long-deceased relatives who fought at the Alamo. As all but a handful of Texans at the Alamo were killed, it can be assumed that these relatives were not his direct ancestors. Nonetheless, this could explain his rage over mocking the revolution.

Possible State Secession Edit

Ghost has said that if Obama attempted to declare some sort of state-of-emergency, usurp power and extend his time in office, he would have supported the secession of Texas. He's said that Texas is working towards becoming self-sustainable this way in case of something like that ever happening.

During Capitalist Episode 297 Ghost, while celebrating Brexit, suggested that if Hillary Clinton or some other Democrat won the 2016 Presidential Election, Texas would try to secede from the union, terming this Texit. This ultimately proved to be unnecessary however as Donald Trump ultimately won the election.

Other NamesEdit

  • TexasRoastingOnAnOpenGrill
  • SizzlingSixthStreet
  • TexasWildfiresLOL
  • SixthStreetBarbeque
  • BurnTexasBurn
  • HotInTexas
  • NoCornForTexas
  • HotDealsinTexas
  • AshyAlamo
  • AshesOnSixthStreet
  • BarbequeLonestar
  • CharbroiledTexas
  • PotRoastTexas
  • AlamoAblaze
  • TexasBarandGrill
  • TexasTwisting


Burning Texas Jokes14:31

Burning Texas Jokes

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